


sun in scorpio

by otherworld (snxckpxck), snxckpxck



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Sex, Birthday Sex, Childhood Friends, Choking, Drunk Sex, Edging, F/M, General Dumbassery, Hair Pulling, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Spanking, Surprise Fluff, Vaginal Sex, Witty Banter, alcohol use, face fucking, quarter life crisis, reader is A DUMBASS, semi-rough sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-02-08 12:38:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21476146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snxckpxck/pseuds/otherworld, https://archiveofourown.org/users/snxckpxck/pseuds/snxckpxck
Summary: “You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Kuroo smiles. You think it’s genuine until his grin grows wider, “you’re already an old hag. The adulthood ship sailed a long time ago.”“We’re literally the exact same age, asshole,” you frown.____self-indulgent kuroo birthday fic do not @ mefka 'birthday sex'Friends to lovers?? Not really.Friends to friends with benefits to ???Yeahnote: do NOT repost my work to anywhere else (3rd party apps/websites etc)
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 30
Kudos: 298





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. I honest 2 god share my birthday w Kuroo Tetsuro (and Tachibana Makoto and Miyuki Kazuya) so don’t @@ me at how self-indulgent this is. Also. INCREDIBLY, even more self-indulgent w/ the Free! references and so on and so forth.  
I also share this birthday with Rupaul (yes that one), and Danny Devito. Blessed 11/17.

Kuroo takes a good look at the view, mentally snapping a picture and neatly compartmentalizing it as you lay splayed out on your bed. It’s hardly the picture of eroticism: you, grappling a body pillow of some anime ikemen, its face distorted in your choke hold, your ass out with a wedgie that makes him subconsciously want to pull on his own underwear, an over-sized graphic t-shirt of a band he’s never heard of half-ridden up your stomach, and your mouth ajar as you drool into your sheets. 

It isn't sexy at all, but he commits the image to memory, saving it for a rainy day.

He walks over to your bed and kicks at its post to shake you awake. You mumble and turn, but remain asleep. His eye twitched in annoyance, and a sly grin makes its way upon his face. 

Carefully, he leans down towards you, and ever so gently, in his best impression of your mother, yells into your ear. 

“_YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE FOR CLASS!_”

You shoot up in bed, arms flailing at the sheer panic of being late--_and wait_. You’re in a daze as you comprehend the fact that you a) graduated high school almost six years ago and b) live alone. 

Your head turns so fast Kuroo swears you got whiplash, “Tetsuro what the **fuck** are you doing in my house?!”

He tuts, wagging his finger, “Technically it’s not your house, you damn NEET. And you know that I’ve had a spare key for at least ten years.”

“What the fuck! Get out of my room!” you yell, not caring about your state of dress. You’d known the man across from you for almost twenty years, so caring about him seeing you half naked isn’t nearly as disconcerting as the fact that he woke you up at-- you look to your clock--_oh _.

“‘_Oh’ _ is right, lazy,” he smirks, “you’re honestly lucky that _ I _ , being the kind and gracious person I am, decided to tell your mother I would come pick you up and take you to our joint birthday celebration. _ Happy Birthday, to you_.”

“Our birthday is tomorrow, _ smartass_,” you huff as you pull your shirt down, lest you let him continue to see your ass in all its wedgied glory. He at least has the courtesy to turn away while you pick it.

“Which is why we’re celebrating it with our families today, _ dumbass_,” he replies. 

He’s technically not wrong. The two of you have been celebrating your birthdays together (or at least having joint parties) for years, now. It started a little bit after he and his family had first moved into the neighborhood. Your mother and his grandmother had met randomly at a supermarket while reaching for the same birthday candles. They bonded right away. Your mother would go shopping with Kuroo's grandmother, and your family bonded.

It was almost like destiny, and it became a tradition they tried to celebrate whenever you could. It wouldn't always be on your actual birthdays, but there was always a party celebrating the two of you. Sometimes it just wasn’t possible, like when your birthday was during the work/school week, and when you had traveled abroad for university. (When you got older you just saw it as an excuse for the adults to party while the kids entertained each other for a night.)

But for the first time in years, you were both in the same city, at the same time. You’re a little bit nervous and a little bit excited because on your last birthday you: got scolded at work for being slow on journalizing some accounts for a client with a time frame, worked overtime without pay (again), ate the saddest fucking _ FamiChiki _ ever, and didn’t get home until after midnight. No one in the office even gave you the decency or dignity of saying ‘Happy Birthday’.

That next day you drew up your letter of resignation and turned it in before clocking out.

Your parents were surprisingly (very) accepting of the fact, and let you move out of your apartment back home as soon as your lease ended. That was five months ago. Though you weren’t working an office job while you were still closer to Tokyo City proper, you had been doing some freelance tutoring for English and helping out at the small businesses some of your friends managed. 

Nerima wasn’t far away, so it wasn’t like you were moving _ away _ away_, _ you were just going back to the suburbs. The most sure fire thing you would miss would be the privacy of your own place, but the gods looked upon you as your (already retired) parents decided that since you were moving back, you could take care of your childhood home and they could move out into your maternal grandparents’ home in the countryside. 

You’re lost in your own thoughts as you rummage through your underwear drawer in search for a bra, and you’re brought back to reality only when you hear the soft _ thump _ of Kuroo sitting on your bed. 

You don’t see where he’s looking, and you have half a mind to think he’s probably staring at your ass, and you yell at him to get out of your room. You’re definitely right about the ass thing, but you miss the way his eyes narrowed at the sight of something small, round and pink peeking out from under a pillow. 

He whistles an annoying tune and before closing your door, he smiles, “Oh yeah, Yaku and Kenma are downstairs, too.”

You roll your eyes, “Whatever, _ just get out_!”

The door closes with a soft ‘_click _’ and you can hear him snickering, and calling out to his two friends. You knew almost everyone from the volleyball team even though you didn’t attend Nekoma. Most of them knew you as the weird girl from the all girls high school that was pretty close by that hung out with Kenma and Kuroo. 

You’d known the two by sheer proximity of your homes, and you hung out with them when they weren’t at volleyball practice, and when you weren’t busy with your own duties as a member (and eventual captain) of the swim team. 

Sometimes you’d see them running as a group when it was off season, other times you’d run into a member or three when you hung out with Kenma or Kuroo or the both of them. Either way, they were pretty cool, and you figured that this party was probably going to be larger than ones in the past, given how many of Kuroo’s friends stayed local. 

You trot downstairs after throwing on an oversized hoodie on top of a thermal turtleneck, some thick leggings, and some light makeup (to cover up the eyebags) after brushing your teeth. The first thing you notice is how _ clean _ your house suddenly is. The trash has been sorted and taken out, the dinner table, once covered in an array of bills and flyers has been cleared, and the generous pile of clothing that had been piling up on the couch is gone. 

You look to the boys suspiciously, “W...Where are my clothes?”

“Tossed into the basket in your bathroom. You really shouldn’t leave your underwear hanging around,” Kenma answered without looking up from his phone, “Kuro almost pocketed your panties.”

Your face blanches as you look to the man in question, and all he gives you is a shit-eating grin.

“I’m calling the police,” you glare. 

“Kenma’s joking,” Yaku assures, “...I think.”

You take a deep breath, as if to lecture them for doing chores, but let out a sigh instead, “Thanks. I’m sure this was Tetsuro’s idea of a birthday gift.”

“Indeed it was,” Kuroo replies, “considering the fact that your parents will probably crash here for the night, I took it upon myself to make sure you didn’t shame them further with your filth.”

You ignore the insult and ponder for a second, eyes lighting up as you remember, “Oh! They have to drive back tonight anyway. Papa can’t sleep with the city sounds anymore.”

There’s a weird look in Kuroo’s eyes as his grin falters a bit, before it widens, “Then you owe me for cleaning up your house, you damn NEET.”

You’re offended at the accusation, “I’m _ not _ a fucking NEET, you prick. I have a job as a lifeguard at the pool, thank you very much… Actually, speaking of which...”

The boys in your kitchen look up at you . 

“Can we stop by the pool first? I gotta pick up my paycheck,” you ask, grabbing your bag, a scarf, and a beanie as you prepare to head out. 

“Sure, but you’re buying us drinks tomorrow when we’re in the city...”

“...And?” you continue, knowing full-well what that excited glint in his eyes say.

“_And _ you’re introducing us to your hot friends,” Kuroo answers. You zip up your boots and roll your eyes, ‘_Whatever_.’

*

The pool’s not too out of the way, so it’s quick stop. The three follow you in, not knowing how long it’ll take. They might as well check out where you work. It’s an indoor community pool that many kids in your neighborhood have frequented, but most of them stop going as soon as they enter high school. By the time they’re older, they’re either swimming for their school’s team, or prefer water parks instead.

You’re greeted with an onslaught of ‘Happy Birthdays’ and cheers by some of the staff as you walk to the office. Kenma, Kuroo, and Yaku wait by the bulletins while you retrieve your check, looking at the announcements and admiring the photos and medals in the awards case. Kenma points out a framed and slightly dusty photo of a neighborhood-wide swim tournament, with you posing on the 1st place pedestal, holding onto your ribbon like it’s a sacred treasure. The date on the picture ages all of them, but Kuroo especially, as he realizes that you’re no longer flat as a board, nor is your hair wildly messy, nor the fact that you’re no longer just kids. His mind flashes back to that hint of pink, but he catches the thought and puts it away before it can grow into anything more… devious. 

Their idle wait is interrupted by your loud, raucous cheering. You’ve got an arm slung around the shoulders of another man with the _ broadest _ shoulders Kuroo (or any of them) have ever seen. He's hunched over in your grip, but Kuroo can tell that the man is around his height, possibly taller. He’s in a t-shirt with the pool’s name on it and swim trunks that do very little to conceal how muscular he is. There’s a pair of goggles sitting on his neck, swaying as you ruffle his hair. 

“C’mon, _ Makocchin _ !” you laugh, letting him out of your grasp, “you gotta be doing _ something _ special for the day! Take a break!”

The two of you are standing by your friends, and you gesture them over as ‘_Makocchin_’ rubs the back of his neck. 

Kuroo, ever the one to appreciate the regardless of gender is the first to speak, “_Oya_, _ Makocchin_? I guess you’re not a NEET after all since you’re so comfortable with your coworkers.”

Your eyes shoot to Kuroo and they narrow. He smirks as a reply. You know this game, but you’re not going to let him get the chance to play.

“Tetsuro, this is Tachibana Makoto,” you smile, “he _ also _ shares our birthday. Granted he’s got a few years on us.” 

The one known as Makoto introduces himself to your friends, and you can’t help but waggle your brows as Kuroo discreetly checks him out. 

“Well, we gotta go, _ Makocchin_,” you say turning to him, “See you Monday, and happy birthday!”

He greets you back, and then Kuroo before turning and heading back to the pool. 

Kuroo lowers his head to your height as you walk out the doors, “So, _ Makocchin_, eh?”

“You should see him when he’s in the pool, Tetsuro,” you sigh, “he’s got a body shaped by the gods.”

“You should invite him out tomorrow then,” he smirks, “to _ celebrate _ our birthdays.”

You give him a cute and pert smile that he tries not to think too hard about, “Unfortunately, _ Tetsuro_, I’m sure he has plans this weekend with his Olympic swimmer _ boyfriend_.”

Kuroo grins widely, “_Oya_? Too bad.”

“_Mhmm, too bad_.”

*

You were absolutely right about the party being huge. It’s not so incredibly large that it’s disruptive to the neighborhood and that the inside of the house is cramped, but everywhere you turn there’s another relative or family friend who’s excited to see you and ask about your life.

_ ‘I heard you quit your job! What are you doing now?’ ‘So, are you going to stay in Nerima forever? Your parents entrusted you the house, right?’ ‘Hey! It’s been a long time! What are you up to?’ ‘Did you hear [X] got engaged?’ ‘Did you see [Y]’s kids??’ ‘When are you going to get married?’ _

_ ‘When are you going to give me grandchildren?’ _

The last question was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You’re thankful that your parents are forgiving as they are, but you can’t even fathom the possibility of having a family when you had a mental breakdown because you got yelled at by your boss. 

You find a way to hide on the second story balcony with 2 cold beers and a plate of food. You can _ hear _ the Nekoma alumni as they cause a scene in the yard for some dumb shit, and you know exactly where the two friends of yours from the area are: in the kitchen, checking Kuroo’s friends out through the glass sliding doors. They’re life savers as they cover for you, saying you went out to buy more beer or drinks or some bullshit excuse while you hide from more intrusive questions. 

You don’t bother looking up from your phone when you hear the door slide open.

“So when _ are _ you going to give your parents grandchildren?” Kuroo asks, sitting across from you. He’s hiding a wicked smirk behind his drink as he takes a sip, and you shoot him your most intense glare. Or at least one that you could muster, after taking shots with some of the more rambunctious members of your family/friend circle. 

“If they want kids to spoil so much, I’d gladly pick some up from the pool and drop them off,” you answer. 

“Ah, then _ I’d _ have to call the police,” he replies. 

You’re silent as you chew your food, and he notices that you’re not as annoyed by his presence as you’d usually be. He nudges your foot with his own, and you let your eyes trail up the length of his legs, his torso, and finally onto his face. _ Did this bastard grow even taller_. You take a moment to wash down your food with a sip from a now lukewarm can of beer, the condensation soaking into the cuff of your sleeve. 

“It feels like I’m not even trying to be an adult,” you groan, leaning onto the wall of the balcony. You’re glad it’s a solid wall, and not rails where everyone can see you mope. 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Kuroo smiles. You think it’s genuine until his grin grows wider, “you’re already an old hag. The adulthood ship sailed a _ long _ time ago.”

“We’re literally the exact same age, asshole,” you frown. Your brows are furrowed as you try to clear your thoughts. It’s a struggle though, given the alcohol coursing through your system.

Kuroo shrugs and gives you a sincere smile this time, “And we’re still young. Don’t worry about your parents or kids or any of that. We’ve got a weekend of celebrating ahead of us.” 

You let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, “Why’d you have to get the brain cell in this arrangement? I was the one working corporate.”

“And I’m in medicine,” he answers, “I think I need the capacity to know things a little bit more. But don’t worry, when the time comes, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of, _ grandma_.”

“_Eat shit_, Tetssun,” you reply, eyes back on your phone.

You can’t help but chuckle as your birthday horoscope crosses your news feed.

“What’s so funny?” Kuroo asks, noticing that you were no longer scowling (or going through another alcohol fueled quarter-life crisis).

“Oh, just today’s horoscope. You wanna read?” you look up, showing him your phone. 

> November 2019 - Happy birthday, Scorpio! You’re in a personal new cycle this month, evolving, shedding skin, and revealing yourself. With Mercury currently retrograde in your sign, you’re in the process of redefining yourself and your identity. And with Mars in Libra, this is likely a process unfolding beneath the surface, marking a deeply introspective phase even if on the surface you’re moving about life as usual. As you acknowledge secret desires, subconscious fears, and relationship patterns, you can make conscious choices moving forward.

He waves his hand and rolls his eyes, dismissing the memo. Horoscopes are fun and something he doesn’t take seriously but...

_As you acknowledge secret desires, subconscious fears, and relationship patterns, you can make conscious choices moving forward. _

That (pink) intrusive thought is back and he tries his best to compartmentalize it again. Trying and failing as he realized that you were watching him, trying to gauge his reaction. He hands you your phone back as you polish off your beer and crack open the second one in-between bites of the inarizushi his grandmother made. His foot is still touching yours. 

For all your idiotic banter and aggression, he can’t stop staring at you as you play that cat game on your phone, smiling to yourself like an idiot when you show him the new cat that had shown up at your virtual yard or whatever, and he can’t help but think it’s heartwarming rather than stupid. 

*

You're only slightly drunk by the time the party ends, your friends having successfully found your hiding place and dragging you back downstairs to take shots with them. You can remember saying your farewells to your parents before a blurred haze of you and the others in your age group stumbling your way to your house. You're sitting with a tray of leftovers from the party, shooing away anyone who tried to take another piece of inarizushi from the platter. You had carried the rather large plate in your arms for the whole walk, and Kuroo was all too concerned for the safety of his grandmother’s dishware. And now you were hoarding it like the goblin you are. That is, until Kuroo restrained you while Kenma took the tray away and set it in the kitchen.One of your friends bought more alcohol to share as you sit together talking about old memories. You all take turns recalling embarrassing stories, but the rest of it is hazy and you can't remember exactly when everyone left.

It's not until your house is unnervingly quiet that you realize you're alone. A sudden flush from the downstairs bathroom pulls you out of your stupor, and you realize Kuroo is still here.

"Happy Birthday, Tettsun," you smile, bleary eyed due to the alcohol and sheer exhaustion from the day.

He settles onto the couch next to you and pulls you into his lap, "Happy Birthday, to you too, you party animal."

You stick your tongue out at him, but miss the way his eyes focus in on the pink muscle. You’re caught up in how comfortable he is, and close your eyes almost immediately, settling into a more comfortable position as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

You’re out within minutes, and sleep soon takes over him not long after.

*

You wake up sore, dehydrated, and with an intense urgency to pee. Glancing at the clock on the wall, you curse as you realize how early it is. Kuroo has one arm tight around your waist, the other hanging off the couch. He’s still fast asleep and you try to disturb him as little as possible when you struggle out of his grasp. Your body shifts a little lower, and suddenly you’re keenly aware of a hardness pressed up against your back. It takes a little too much self-control not to dwell on it, and you’re unsuccessful in getting it out of your thoughts as you subconsciously try to measure just how big his dick is. 

You all but slap yourself out of it, pulling his arm off of you and sliding off of him in one fluid motion. The thought of what his dick looks like follows you upstairs into the bathroom, and then into the shower.

You’re so caught up in trying not to think about it, that you keep thinking about it. You’re in the middle of washing your hair when a knock on the door halts the thought, and you pause, "Good morning, sunshine!"

You're greeted with a resounding groan, "I'm gonna head out."

"_Okay_, just lock the door behind you."

"_Later. _I'll call about plans when I feel my soul return to my body."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **[edit]:**
> 
> so it's been a long time since i read the chapter where kenma and kuroo meet and i just... completely forgot? didn't think about?? the fact that kuroo doesn't have a mom OOPS. granted a LOT of the characters don't have parents mentioned in the series, and we don't even get to see hinata's mom's face lmao. SO. I went back and changed it to grandma.


	2. Chapter 2

Bar hopping in Kabuki-cho seemed like such a great idea when you planned it, until you were reminded of the fact that your birthdays fell on a Sunday. You were just glad that some of your friends were able to make it out at all. And despite your drunk protesting of not wanting to stop karaoke, it was when your last close friend from Tokyo says she’s calling it a night that you (begrudgingly) decide it’s time to go home. 

But not before getting some decent _ FamiChiki_. 

If anyone saw the way you devoured the piece of chicken that night, they’d probably have an amazing story to tell at work the next day. Kuroo had hung out with enough disgusting teenage boys and adult men to know you rank second, only to Bokuto, in terms of being able to scarf down a whole piece of chicken in a sacrilegiously quick and aggressive manner.

“_Nnnnoo, _” you whine as Kuroo sits you down, "'wanna party…" 

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“_Your point?_”

He holds you steady as the train sways. You both managed to catch the last train because your designated driver ended up taking one of your friends home, and most of the others bailed a little earlier, citing work and such. You’re glad it’s empty, so no one would have to see how red your face is when Kuroo’s arm is draped around you, giving a subconscious squeeze at any slight jolt of the train.

You’re definitely way more drunk than you had planned, so he insisted you just crash at his apartment. Both of you are grateful for this decision. It was way closer to the train station than your house, you wouldn’t have to haul ass to make anymore transfers, and at this point, he didn’t want to walk either. Especially since it started raining and neither of you thought to bring an umbrella. (“_You have a purse! You could have brought one! _ ” “_Do you see how tiny this fucking bag is, Tetssun_.”)

Kuroo, ever the fortunately lucky bastard, didn’t have work until the late afternoon, whereas you started earlier. You remember this fact only when you realize that you’re sliding your shoes off in the genkan of his tiny abode, and that you still have to walk home tomorrow. But that doesn’t matter right now. It’s cold outside and your damp clothes are starting to feel even more uncomfortable. You're groggy as he hands you a clean towel and shows you to his bath so you can wash up. It's a quick and hot, and you find a set of spare clothes on the bathroom counter when you’re finished. 

The shower sobered you up a little, but you're still dizzy as you plop onto his small couch while he takes his turn. He’d tossed the wet clothes into the washer, and the muffled _ thumps _ of the machine were the only sound that filled the air until Kuroo finished.

“Hey, Tetssun?” you call out, “where d’you even work?”

He's toweling his hair off as he answers, "A local pharmacy. The manager gave me the closing shift after seeing the day my birthday landed. Said something about relishing in my youth, or whatever."

Your head knocks back with a soft thud as you close your eyes, giving a small hum in acknowledgement. 

You hear the soft padding of his bare feet, and Kuroo doesn’t miss the soft hitch in your voice when you feel something cold against your neck. You take the bottle of water and all but rip the cap off, tossing it aside as you chug it. The man sits opposite you in the cramped tiny living room, long legs crossed in order to fit on the floor. His eyes watch your mouth and throat as water dribbles down it, forgetting the cold water bottle in his own hands until he feels the condensation seep through his pants. You’re in one of his old t-shirts and volleyball practice shorts. The way his shirt drapes over your body dwarfs your frame. He can’t help but stare. 

You let out a satisfying sigh, finishing off more than half the bottle in one go.

“You must’ve been _thirsty_,” he smiles, taking his own drink.

“I’m _ always _ thirsty, _Tetssun_,” you reply, head lolling back as you fully lean against the wall. 

“I’ll bet.”

You sit in a comfortable silence as you slowly sober up.

“_Tetssun_.”

Kuroo’s looking at his phone, responding to all the birthday messages he’d gotten earlier in the night.

“_Hm_?” 

You call out to him once more, “_Tetsuro_.” 

He looks over to you now, crawling onto the floor, and watches you lean your head against his knee. 

“_Oi oi_, _ w-what do you think you’re doing? _”

“_Shut up, Tetssun._”

In an instant, you’re on him. It wasn’t a far distance to travel, but your hands have him pinned down easily in this position. You turn, and shift until you’re fully seated in his lap, pulling his arms around your waist, and slotting your neck against his. You find comfort in the position, sighing softly as you feel the heat of his breath against your neck. You don’t know whose it is, but someone’s heart is thumping loudly against their rib cage. 

You guide his hands with your own, slowly crawling up your shirt until the tips of his fingers feel the skin of your waist.

“You’re_ drunk_, you shouldn’t be doing this,” Kuroo scolds as softly as he could.

“_Mmm_, and yet _ you’re _ the one who’s been eyefucking me all night, _ Tetssun_,” you huff, “don’t think I didn't notice. Especially at that second bar with the dance floor.”

The man under you chuckles, fingers gently grazing your waist. 

“You’re not wrong. You make it so hard to do so, with the way you swayed your hips,” he pauses, taking the moment to tighten his grip on you, “it’s like you were begging for attention. For _ my _ attention.”

“Maybe I was,” you reply. 

It’s not lost on him at all, the fact that you were dropping hints all night. He figured from the start, as rather than being his wingman, you introduced him to your friends as the boy who tried to trick you into eating cat food on multiple occasions. You weren’t wrong, but the face you made when he commented on how you actually fell for his schemes made up for it.

Half the night it was petty bickering and half the night it was good old unresolved sexual tension. 

It only made sense, given how you woke up earlier that day, tangled in each other’s limbs on your parents’ couch. Your ass slotted against him, just like the way you are now, fully conscious of his morning wood. 

You have half a mind to grind on him right here, but your shoulders and neck are sore from headbanging at karaoke, and so using your best 'bedroom eyes'and pout, you look up to him and ask him to carry you to the bed. 

There’s an amused look on his face and he makes no room for protest as he stands up, leaving behind you on the ground. Your arms are extended upwards towards him, and your eyes shine when he leans down. But rather than being gently lifted up with all the grace he normally exudes, especially on the court, Kuroo hoists you like a sack of rice over his shoulders.

The wind is knocked out of you as your gut makes contact with his shoulders. 

“_Jackass_,” you huff.

You’re tossed onto incredibly bland and normal looking red bedding, and land with a strangled and completely un-sexy ‘_oof _’.

Before you have room to protest the way you were treated, a shiver runs down your spine when Kuroo commands your attention.

“Take off your clothes.”

“You could _ at least _ take a girl to dinner, first,” you snark, propping yourself up on your elbows.

“I bought you chicken that you consumed faster than the speed of sound. Now _ take off your clothes_.”

You try to hide your disdain at the demand because you’re definitely too lazy to try to be sexy right now. And you see him try to stifle the exasperated sigh at your impertinence. Lethargy takes over lust as you fall back and awkwardly shimmy out of your borrowed shirt. There’s nothing but the sounds of the city, muffled in the background, and the rustling of your clothes and his sheets.

You get your shorts about halfway down before shooting Kuroo an expectant look. Kuroo runs a hand through his hair and pulls it off of you, tossing it on the floor. 

“God you’re stupid,” he sighs, pulling off his shirt, tossing it off to the side with yours. He at least has the decency to check you out while insulting you. You don’t miss the way his eyes linger on your chest, and you give him a shimmy, “So are you~.” 

You’re obvious as you look him up and down, and you barely have time to formulate a witty insult about his dick before he’s on you. Caging your body under his form. You trail your hands upward, nails grazing his forearms, and then his biceps, before your hands gently grasp at the base of his neck. 

Your gaze meets his.

And the moment is suddenly too intimate, he realizes. He can see on your face that you know it, too.

“Turn off the lights, _ Tetsuro_,” you mutter. 

He complies and stands back up, pulling at the chain of his ceiling light until the room is dark enough to downplay the intimacy of the situation, save for the light in the hallway peeking through the open door of the bathroom and the filtered glow from outside his window.

You can still see him, but it’s easier this way. It’s ideal to believe that a romance between friends who’ve known each other deeply and intimately can ever last. But the two of you, knowing fully well who the other person is, have yet to even think about crossing that bridge.

Regardless, you can feel the softness of Kuroo’s hair, styled by metaphysics and a prayer, tickle the side of your face as he kisses your neck. He brings a hand up to wrap around the column of your neck as he bites and sucks on your shoulder. 

You feel every bit of the calloused skin on his hands squeeze the sides of your neck, and the whine you let out spurs him on to bite harder.

"_Tetsuro_, please…"

Your fist in his hair tightened at the same time as the hand on your neck, and your voice is hardly a whisper when he releases grip.

His other hand trails down your side, tucking itself under your ass and giving a light squeeze before gripping your thigh. Instinctively, your legs spread wider. You hook one over his back to pull him closer, and the weight of his body on top of yours is comforting. 

“You know, you still owe me for cleaning up your mess,” Kuroo mutters before nipping at your earlobe. 

You place your hands at the base of his neck and push him up to see his signature smile, “Yeah?”

“_Yeah_,” he replies.

Using the strength you could muster, you push him off to the side and roll on top of him. Your hands graze his bare skin as you sit up and slide off the bed. You sink to your knees as you pull on the band of his underwear. He’s only half hard, but you notice him twitch in the slightest when you take him into your hands. You’re incredibly glad that the lights are off, so he can’t see how embarrassed you feel right now, lips just centimeters away from his dick. Of course it’s impressive to look at. He’s got the length and girth worth boasting about. 

Kuroo is the epitome of sexy and cool and nerdy and stupid wrapped into one tight and tall package of a man, even if he’s an irritating prick majority of the time. He’s sitting up, and you think it’s sweet when he brushes your hair out of your face. If he weren’t so genuinely nice you probably would have slapped him a long time ago. Part of you wonders what would happen if you slap him now.

_ Stupid sexy Kuroo_.

You give a tentative lick at the base of his shaft, before a longer lap up its entirety. Your tongue traces along the main vein while one hand holds him in a loose and gentle grip. When you move to suck on the tip and lick at the crown, one of his hands comes and cups the back of your head, as if he were trying to say, '_more'._

You open your mouth wider and start to take him deeper, hand twisting slightly as you stroke him more. You use some of the spit that’s dribbled out to lube up your hand just a little, and stroke faster. His grip is now in your hair, and you can feel his self-restraint as he tries not to fuck your face. You push off to take a breath, and look up to him with a smirk, “Enjoying the view?”

Kuroo, on the other hand, can’t take your snark seriously when your face is flushed, hair slick with sweat framing your face, pupils dilated as you’re clearly just as into this as he is. He wipes the drool on your chin with his free hand, and cradles your face, “Yeah. The quiet was a nice change, too.”

  
You roll your eyes and slap at his thighs, “You want me to suck you off or not, _ Tetssun_?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you miss me

He holds both his hands up in submission and you scoot closer to the edge of the bed, resting your weight on the side as you wrap your lips around his shaft once more, relaxing your tongue and throat so you could take him deeper. You can feel one hand in your hair and one on the back of your neck. You’re rewarded with a deep and resounding groan.

You’d never say it aloud, but you love the sound of his voice. Whether it was on the court when he was barking out orders, or how soft his voice is when he’s sleepy late at night as you talk on the phone. You love the sound of it. You want to hear him groan more. So your head bobs and you take him in as far as you can, and Kuroo’s grip in your hair is tight, and an upward thrust of his hips has you gagging on his cock. You pull him out of your mouth once more, but now one of your hands has a grip around his fully erect dick, while the other fondles at his sack. You’re back to stroking him as you suck, tongue lapping at the head to collect any pre-cum. 

His breaths are short and the grip in your hair is painful, and you wonder when the last time he ever had a blowjob was. A part of you aims to make sure he’ll never forget this one. You take each ball into your mouth and tongue at each one gently. In one broad stroke of your tongue you lap up the entirety of his length and take him into your mouth once more. The combination of you sucking on him, your soft hand stroking him is joined by an added pressure to the soft skin just behind his balls. 

You’ve got your fingers pressing on his taint for just a few moments before he’s got both hands in your hair, hips thrusting erratically as he cums in your mouth. You make sure to keep your head still, swallowing as much as you could. When his grip grows lax you sit back up, lick at your lips, and open your mouth wide to show how you swallowed every last drop. 

Kuroo’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head as he flops backwards with another groan. You giggle as you stand back up, but your foot is numb and you fall onto the bed unceremoniously face forward, one of your arms smacking him right on his chest with an audible ‘_oof _’. 

“_Thanks for the meal~ _” you snicker. 

You're replied with a slap to the ass, to which you let out a yelp. His hand is still on your butt cheek when you turn part of your body to look at him, and he can definitely see in your aroused state that you _ definitely want him to do it again. _You make eye contact and his eyes narrow, while yours widen. Your eyes shift to his raised hand, and he can see how you bite your lip in anticipation. He gives your ass a slight flick, and you give him a deserved yet equally arousing pout. 

He leans over to whisper into your ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you want.”

The spark in your eyes only spurns him further as he hoists your body and lays you across his lap. A finger teases at the band of your panties, and you’re _ almost _ embarrassed at how eager you are to get your ass spanked by the former volleyball captain. You’ve seen those spikes. You _ know _ what those hands can do. There’s a hitch in your breath when he pulls the band further, letting it sit right under your ass. Kuroo lets out a hum as he feels you up, jiggling at each plump cheek. 

“I see you stopped exercising,” he chides. 

“I see you don’t wanna fuck in this lifetime,” you snap back.

“Patience, patience. I want to savor every little bit of this,” he chuckles. His fingers trail from your spine to your ass, and when you feel one prod at your lower lips, you can’t help but whine. 

“Did you get this wet from sucking my dick or from being bent over my lap like this,” he asked, and you could _ hear _ the smugness in his voice. 

“Dirty talk doesn’t suit you, Tetsuro. All I wanna do is slap that pretty face of yours,” you grumble. 

“_Aww_, you think I’m pretty.”

You’re about to come back with another remark when he catches you off guard with a sharp slap to your ass. He’s fascinated by the jiggle, and even more fascinated by the sound that comes out of your mouth. It’s a cross between a mewl and whine, and it’s more than enough to push him further. One of Kuroo’s hands soothes the reddened area, while the other cradles your chin. You raise your head to look up at him and he thumbs your lower lip. You more than get the idea and open your mouth, and Kuroo inserts two of his fingers, pressing on the flat of your tongue. 

“_Gotta be quiet, okay? _ We don’t wanna disturb the neighbors.”

You nod in understanding, and Kuroo lets out a satisfied hum. He spanks you harder this time, and you suck on his fingers as a makeshift gag. Kuroo can feel your whine, and he doesn’t give you the time to collect your breath before spanking you once more. The apartment is silent except for the sound of a calloused palm slapping soft skin (_god you’re so soft_) and the occasional whimper that escapes your mouth. Your ass is throbbing and you’re rubbing your legs together, desperate for some sort of stimulation. Kuroo rubs at your ass once more, and your pleas are rewarded by Kuroo when he pulls your underwear off completely and slips two fingers between your thighs, gliding along your slick entrance. 

You let out a pleasured sigh of relief when he inserts a deft finger, teasing at your walls before pulling his hand completely out. You shoot him a look of betrayal that quickly turns into annoyance when you notice the smug look on Kuroo’s face. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, but before you could say anything sharp or clever, he scoots back on his bed and pulls you into a sitting position on his lap. He wraps your legs around himself and you can’t help but whine when your soaked core is barely centimeters away from where you want it. You rest your arms on his shoulders, one hand playing with the mess of his hair.

“Fucking _ tease_,” you curse.

He shrugs, “They don’t call me the _ master of provocation _ for nothing, you know?”

“No one has called you that in years. Now you’re an asshole, just like the rest of us,” you glare. 

“You sure about that? It seems like I can _ provoke you _ pretty easily,” he smirks as his hands trail up your sides. 

You keep your steely gaze on him as he cups your breasts, rubbing his thumbs across your nipples. He plays with them gently, and you let out a fake yawn. The corner of his mouth twitches in irritation, but he’s ready to play the long con with you. His hands move to your wait and lower back, and his mouth is once again on your neck. He bites. _ Hard_. You hold in a moan as he sucks on the spot, and you can feel his tongue lapping over the afflicted skin as he sucks harder. 

You let out a strangled laugh, “You trying to mark your territory now?”

You’re replied with another bite, this one higher, harder, and _ definitely _ going to be visible tomorrow. 

The hand not in his hair is quick to move, “_I work with children, jackass! _” 

You don’t recognize the look in Kuroo’s eyes as he realizes the hot tingling on his cheek and how you just _ slapped _ the man in the face. The slap in itself was incredibly justified, but you still can’t believe you actually did it. His smile is still smug, but you can’t read his expression and you’re scared of just how aroused you are by it. 

Kuroo goes for your neck once more, this time it’s right beneath your ear and you keen at the growl he lets out when your hand tugs on his hair. You can’t pull him off and you know he’s going to leave the ugliest hickey and all your coworkers are going to know _ exactly _ what you did on your birthday. There’s no point in putting concealer on, either, since it’ll just wash off in the pool. You’ll have to come up with some bullshit excuse or solution, but that’s a problem for tomorrow because right now Kuroo Tetsuro is leaving harsh red bites all over your shoulders and you want _ more_.

His hands are firm as they pull your body closer to his, and the skin to skin contact is nothing compared to the heat of your core flush against his fully hardened dick. His grip on your waist is strong, holding you still so you can’t even grind against him for any sort of stimulation. After a series of harsh bites on your shoulders he follows up with butterfly kisses back up to your ear, tongue flicking at your earlobe. His voice is deep and husky, and you can’t help but mewl when he starts to whisper how hard he’s going to fuck you. 

“You know what you are?” he asks, resting his head on your shoulder. 

You’re more aroused than anticipated, and you’re embarrassed at how needy you sound when you answer him, “_What, _Tetsuro? What am I?”

“You’re a _ little fuckin’ brat_,” he smiles, “and brats deserve to get punished.”

You close your eyes and bite your lip, and he takes your silence as an answer.

“Lucky for you, I know what type of punishment you deserve,” he hums. 

You let out an involuntary and incredibly desperate sounding pant, and his grin widens. But because you’re you, you have to get in the last word, regardless of the consequences. 

“You already spanked my ass with the intensity of a wing spiker, what else is there?” you huff, “I expect originality, _ Mr. Master of Provocation_.”

Kuroo steels himself at your taunt, and chuckles. In one fluid motion he’s standing up with you in his arms and in another he’s tossing you onto the bed and leaving to fetch something from his bag. You can’t see what he’s shuffling through, but realization dawns on you as he holds something small, round, pink, and all too incredibly familiar in the light.

“You _ motherfucker_,” you spit, “you stole that from my bed!”

“I did, I did indeed,” he replies.

You hold up an accusatory finger at him, “You planned this from the start, didn’t you?”

It’s difficult to comprehend how nonchalant he is with his dick hard as a rock, but Kuroo simply shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head to the side, “I _ was _ just gonna eat you out and use this to make you cum so hard you’d call me a '_god'_. As a birthday gift.”

“_But _ then you talked about cat food in front of your friends and I knew I had to make things hard for you,” he grins.

You shoot him a glare as he tosses the vibrator onto the bed. You were looking for it this morning after your shower. You thought it had just fallen off between the wall and the bed and didn’t think it was worth the hassle. 

“I don’t know, Tetsuro, stealing girls’ vibrators doesn’t exactly sound like a gift.”

“That’s why _ this _ is a punishment.”

The look of confusion on your face spurns him on, “You’ve gone untouched _ all night_, so go ahead and do it. Right here, with your _ little pink friend_.” 

“What the f---”

“_Yeah, _ even though I’m _ right here_.” 

“_Oh my god_.”

Something not quite akin to shame comes over you, and your whole body grows hot at the prospect of Kuroo watching you masturbate. On his bed. In his room. While he watches. _ With his dick out_. He’s right there but he’s making you do all the work.

“_Fuck you_, _ Tetssun_,” you glare as you snatch up the toy. You scoot back and lean against the wall, figuring you might as well give him a proper show if he’s going to put you right on the spot, but not after giving him the finger. With your body propped up, knees pulled up, and legs spread wide, your hand slowly slides down. You didn’t realize how wet you were until this exact moment, and after sliding two fingers along your entrance, you hold them up for both of you to see. 

Your slick glistens in the light and you beckon Kuroo to come closer. Surprisingly he does, and you can see that he was definitely thinking about the same thing you were, as he opens his mouth and takes in both of your fingers, sucking them clean. 

Your fingers are back in your pussy, spreading your lips wide open so you can insert a finger as visibly as possible. The relief is almost immaculate as you slip another finger in, and when the heel of your palm grinds against your clit, you let out the most delicious whine Kuroo has ever heard. You close your eyes as you turn the vibrator on with your other hand, and the sound you let out when you place it on your clit is one that Kuroo will never forget. 

He knew he was in for a show, but he didn’t know just how much he’d actually be into it. He watches your chest rise and fall with your breaths, and he can’t help but stare at how your hair sticking to your face, how sweat drips down your neck and your collarbone before slightly pooling in your cleavage. He doesn’t realize how much he enjoys seeing you jerk off until he feels his dick in his hand, absentmindedly tugging in tandem with your fingers entering your pussy. Your breaths are getting shallower and shallower, and he can tell you’re close to cumming. 

And then he remembers that this is a _ punishment_.

You open your eyes when you feel the bed dip. You think with the look in his eyes he’s finally going to fuck you properly. But Kuroo watches as your face twists from shock to absolute spite as he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. 

“_Tetssun_.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve got 3 seconds to either fuck me blind or let go of me.”

“And if I _ don’t_?”

“I’ll tell Kenma _ you’re _ the one who broke his psp.”

Kuroo deadpans for a second before returning and even more insincere smile, “Don’t worry _ baby_, I’m gonna take care of you.”

And with that last smug look he kisses you deeply. For the first time tonight, he kisses you. After he made you finger yourself. After you sucked his dick. After he bruised your neck and shoulders in clearly visible places. After he spanked you so hard you _ know _ it’ll be hard to sit tomorrow.

He kisses you.

And you kiss him back. He tastes like barbecue and highball, and you’re pretty sure you taste like shochu and fried chicken and cum. It’s the least sexy kiss you’ve ever had. But it doesn’t matter because his lips are soft and the smell of his shampoo and body wash is intoxicating and the hand not pinning your arms is cradling your face so gently. His tongue prods at your lips and you let him in, and the kiss grows deeper as you both fight for dominance. You’re the one who catches his lower lip in your teeth, and you pull and suck on it.

He pulls away, letting your arms fall free as he moves his hands to your thighs. You watch as Kuroo lowers himself, propping your legs over his arms as he nibbles along the soft and squishy skin of your stomach, your pelvis, and your thighs. 

You card your fingers through his thick hair, not pulling, but just brushing your nails along his scalp. He hums in appreciation and you’re finally rewarded when you feel the flat of his tongue along your pussy. 

_ He must have wanted this more than he let on_, you figure, as his tongue laps at your soaking cunt. When his tongue plunges into you, the hand in his hair tightens and pulls. You cry out when his lips are on your clit. You grab one of his pillows to bite into and stifle a moan. Kuroo eats you out like a starved man. He laps at your juices like your pussy was the fountain of youth. The occasional soft bite on your labia and a hard suck on your clit have you gripping his hair fiercely with one hand, and nearly tearing at his sheets with the other. 

You can feel your peak coming, anticipating it even more now that Kuroo is between your legs, and when you’re nearly shaking, hips grinding against his face as he eats you out, you’re just about to cum when his strength comes through, holding you down as he plops his head on your thigh. 

_"I’m going to murder you, Tetsuro_.”

  
“What part of _ punishment _ do you not understand?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HERE!!!!!! after all the writer's block and pit of despair, i finally finished it and even have a cute bonus omake.
> 
> this fic has the most subscriptions of all my fics and i hope everyone who has stayed with me on this journey (and what a journey it was) enjoys how i veered into a completely different direction of what i originally had intended lmfao. 
> 
> once again, thank you for reading and s/o to @[louislouisrap](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louislouisrap/pseuds/louislouisrap) for helping me figure this story ending out u___u i couldn't have done it w/o you ilu waifu. please check out her stories! she's an amazing writer

You grab a fistful of his hair and pull his head up, “Listen here, _ Tetssun_. I need you to fuck me before I strangle you with my thighs and rob you for all you’re worth.”

Kuroo’s grin only grows wider as you move your legs to back your threat, "_Oya_? Not a bad way to go, smothered by the thighs of a beauty such as yourself."

"And now I'm no longer horny," you deadpan, "thanks for that."

"I aim to please," he replies. 

He inserts a deft finger before you have time to hit him with another insult, and you sigh at the intrusion. He fingers you gently, feeling you from the inside before adding another finger. Kuroo’s ministrations are gentle and entirely not enough. He moves his other hand to press down on your mons while pressing upwards from inside you and your breath hitches at the sensation. 

Kuroo focuses on how you tighten up on his fingers as he draws them in the ‘come hither’ motion before spreading his fingers just the slightest bit apart to gently stretch you out. You whine at a pause before letting out an even louder gasp as he intensifies the pressure on the collection of nerves while holding his thumb over your clit. 

Your moan is music to Kuroo’s ears when you exhale, “_Tetsuro… please._

He replies with a ‘_ssh_’ and a promise, enjoying how you’re begging for him a little too much.

“So who was the master of provocation again?”

You tug on his hair in retaliation, and if you weren’t so desperate for something more you would have hit him with another snarky comment (or just hit him period). Getting the hint, he then sits up and pulls your legs up with him, leaving you on your back as he wraps his dick in a condom (pulled out of nowhere) and (_ fucking finally _) lines himself up with your entrance. Your breath hitches as he slides the head of his cock in, and you're biting your lip as he enters you at a painstakingly slow rate. Both of you release a breath you didn't know were holding when he bottoms out, and there's a twitch in your core begging him to move. Kuroo pulls your legs around his waist, feeling him go even deeper as he leans down to kiss you.

You shiver as he whispers in your ear, "I'm gonna take _ good _ care of you."

You can feel the stretch of your walls with the slow roll of his hips, and your hands find purchase in his sheets. He's nearly pulled out completely before a snap of his hips has him deep inside you and you can't help but let out a strangled cry. Looking up, you find himself concentrating on controlling himself, trying not to fuck you into the sheets right away. His brow is furrowed as he bites his lip, staring right at you. You find yourself captivated by his intense gaze and reply to it with a smirk before licking your lips.

"Harder, Tettsun," you pant, "I _ need _ you."

He responds with a harder thrust that has your ass bumping off the bed with a gasp, "Like that, princess?"

You didn't know that a cheesy pet name could turn you on but with the cadence in his voice, given the context and how sultry his voice is, you couldn't help but flush bright red and whine. You decide to repay him the favor, "_P-please, Captain!"_

Kuroo hasn't been a captain in years and yet something deep inside him reawakens when you call out his old title. His mind brings him back to high school: to the way you would roll up your skirt as soon as you were off your campus, how you would flirt with his teammates for the hell of it whenever you decided to drop by Nekoma to harass him and Kenma, and how you were sometimes the star of his hormonal teenage fantasies. Pining wasn't the right word for it, no, this was more like a gratifying catharsis. Watching the way your back arches off the bed as he works your clit, Kuroo nearly cums at the sight of you speechless and coming undone, unable to form a witty remark about his dick, let alone a coherent thought as he fucks you.

You're on the edge of an orgasm when he flips you around, hips snapping against your ass as he presses himself into you, slinking his arm up your chest to plant a firm grip around the column of your neck, pressing down on your carotid artery. His chest is pressed against your back as he plants a firm bite on your shoulders just to keep himself grounded. You let out a choked sound as his other hand comes down to play with your clit, and soon enough you're cumming, breath strangled as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. It becomes too much and you can't help but cry out at the overstimulation when he releases his grip from your throat as the blood rushes to your brain.

Kuroo lets out a curse when he feels you tighten around him, your body convulsing as you beg him to slow down. He relents by removing his hands from your clit and throat, finding one entwined in your hair instead and the other gripping your waist tight, tugging on it as his hips slow down, rolling into you as you claw at his sheets. He takes a good look at the side profile of your fucked out face and the spittle collecting onto his pillow. 

Wiping at the tears collecting in the corner of your eye, he quietly asks, "You good?"

You reply with an incredibly weak double thumbs up and a clench of your inner walls, eliciting a groan out of him. Kuroo responds with a snap of his hips and a tug of your hair, grunting as he pulls your hips higher to fuck you. He's rewarded with a muffled gasp as you bite into his pillow, hands desperate to cling onto anything.

Kuroo sees one hand reach back towards him, tapping his arm with 2 fingers, and relents. You take a moment to breathe before turning as best as you could to face him, "Tetsuro_. _ I wanna see you cum."

Bliss paints Kuroo's face at the message, "You wanna ride on top or stay down there."

You snort, "You think I can hold myself upright after that? No thank you. I wanna lie down. Besides, you have a really soft pillow."

He rolls his eyes as he pulls out of you and you hiss at the lack of contact but also at how raw you feel. 

"Alright, get comfy," he sighs, "if I don't cum soon I might actually die from blue balls."

“Maybe I should just close my legs," you smile playfully.

Kuroo just rolls his eyes, squeezing your face with his thumb and index finger to pucker your lips, "Then I'll get right back to fucking that mouth of yours."

You adjust the pillow under your head as you plant your legs on either side of him, knocking your knees together to tease him.

Something goes straight to your core when he snaps your knees open, pressing down on them as he thrusts into you without warning. You reply with a pleased moan as he chases his own orgasm, content with having edged you to the point of tears and then overstimulated you enough to where you couldn't say anything stupid. He watches your body beneath his, flushed from your chest up, your breasts bouncing as he fucked you, how your back arches in the slightest. With the way you tug at his hair and how you time your hips rocking with his, and also how you pant his name, Kuroo decides that maybe he could give you one last birthday gift. 

Kuroo finds the vibrator on his bed pretty easily. He balances himself on one arm as the other slides in between you two, switching it on and groaning at how you clench up on him. Your overstimulated body cums again quickly and sloppily, your hips twitching after the vibrator rolls off of your groin. You can feel Kuroo's rhythm break as his hips stutter, and you take a good long look at the man above you as his body cages your form.

Initially you had wanted to see his face because of that Ali Wong special you watched on Netflix, and how she said men look stupid when they cum, but of course, _ stupid sexy Kuroo _ had to look gorgeous with how his eyes were shut tight, how his sweaty brow furrowed, and how he bit his lip as he thrusted hard one last time before cumming.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as he pulls out and flops onto you, not giving a shit about smothering you with his sweaty torso.

“_Ugh, _ get off of me,” you whine as you slap his back. 

You can feel him smile as he tries to form a witty remark, but you grant him leeway (this time) when he doesn’t have a comeback and just replies with a chuckle. Just like that Ali Wong special, you have to remember that he’s not necessarily in the mind space to have a coherent conversation. Eventually he rolls off of you and you take the opportunity to run to the bathroom to pee, turning the hallway lights on on the way there. 

Kuroo waits until he hears the bathroom door close before he takes the condom off, tying it and throwing it into the waste bin. He lays back down on the bed when he hears you turn the shower on and takes the time to look at his phone. It’s just almost 4am, so he sets an alarm for 1130. That should give you enough time to make it back to your house before going to work. He does wonder what you _ are _ gonna end up doing about the very visible hickeys. Kuroo finds his water bottle and chugs the rest of it, also finding yours and putting it on the nightstand.

He wonders about the conversation the two of you are going to have after this. Kuroo isn’t left to his thoughts much longer as you return from your quick shower, wrapped in the towel he had lent you. 

“Go take a shower, sweaty,” you say as you flop onto the bed to find the clothes you were borrowing earlier.

“And if I don’t?” Kuroo replies with a smile and a stupid waggle of his brows. 

“I’m not even gonna entertain the idea of answering that. Go shower while I change the sheets. Also, give me your extra sheets,” you roll your eyes as you stand to pull your shorts up.

He’s almost speechless at the politeness of the gesture and just points to the closet that you’re standing in front of as you towel off your hair. Kuroo tugs at the corners of the bed sheets, pulling them off as he rolls off the bed, crumpling the fabric into a ball to drop into the laundry basket. 

After finishing off your own water, you do your best to put the new sheets on while he’s in the shower. You can’t help but give up more than halfway through putting on the fitted sheet. Kuroo (already in his pajamas) returns to a scene of you laying face down on his bed, a vice like grip on the fourth corner of the sheet. You don’t say anything as you hear him sigh and pull at it, moving your body along the bed as well.

“_You’re welcome~ _” you sing as you roll to the other side of the bed, pulling a pillow up as well as the blankets that didn’t get dirty. 

His reply is him jumping into bed and pulling the blanket up, “Thank you. I’m so glad your birthday gift to me was me fixing my own bed.”

“Hey!” you pout as that clearly was _ not _ the case tonight, tugging on the blankets to roll yourself into a burrito. 

Kuroo retaliates by yanking it back, inevitably pulling you into his chest, “_Go to sleep_, dumbass.”

You stick your tongue out at him, “You first, jackass.”

Kuroo rolls his eyes before giving you a quick peck on the lips and then nuzzling into the crook of your neck. 

“Hey, _ Tetssun_…” you whisper.

“_Mmpf… _”

“Turn off the lights,” you say this time, without any sort of hesitation in your voice about the intimacy of the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see bonus chapter for a cute omake~
> 
> also. finishing haikyuu 402. i'm in my emotions. :^)  
thanks furudate for proving every med school kuroo headcanon wrong lmfao
> 
> also if u think i made kuroo sound just a smidge like karamatsu, no you didn't :^)))
> 
> anyway pee after sex


	5. [bonus]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 absolutely FLUBBED the dimensions SO the chat will be transcribed below the image. if you're on mobile you can enlarge the img to fit your screen and it really makes the chat log reading experience 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

You’re out the door before noon wearing one of Kuroo’s smaller hoodies pulled over your head to cover up your hickeys and messy hair. You're grateful that Kuroo has the brain cells because he hung up your clothes to dry after his shower and you had completely forgotten about it. You're definitely _ not_ going to return the hoodie though, you think to yourself as you snuggle into it, enjoying the scent more than you'd ever let on. 

Kuroo’s phone went off at 9AM (which he would have apologized for only to see you sleep through it) and then again at 1130. You weren’t going to deny that was one of the best nights you ever had in bed (both the sex AND the sleep because Kuroo is a human furnace and his sheets feel expensive) and that it was hard to actually roll out of bed to return to real life. No one pays you any mind as you get on the bus that takes you to the stop near your house. After sitting down you take the time to figure out your cover story: you got caught in the rain last night and feel a little sick, making a mental note to grab a face mask to shove into your work bag. 

Kuroo’s apartment doesn’t seem as far away by the time you get home, and after rushing to collect your shit and a brief shower and mirror check (the bruises are a little faded but you definitely have to wear a rash guard if your excuse flubs and you have to get into the water) you’re running to the pool, getting there just in time to be told that you’re working the front desk.

The pool manager watches you go through a series of emotions before finally landing on relief, “Hungover?”

“_Yeah _, something like that,” you play off.

You catch yourself smiling at your phone as you text Kuroo, letting him know you made it to work on time. Your conversation is stupid but you can't help but smile.

_Best birthday ever_.

[13:15] Tetssun: i take it you got to work on time

[13:15] Tetssun: (笑)

[13:16] Tetssun: so why no water? Your coworkers see something??

[13:16] Tetssun: (≖◡≖)ﾉ

[13:20] You: i hate you (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

[13:20] You: and NO.

[13:21] You: the person who works the front desk

called in sick so i'm subbing in. i get to sit out front

and eat snacks all day wwwwww

[13:30] Tetssun: well aren't you blessed by the gods

[13:30] You: ヽ(◔ヮ◔ ) jealous????

[13:33] Tetssun: nah. last i checked, i make more money than you. :P

[13:33] You: BITCH

[13:33] Tetssun: 😺

[13:33] Tetssun: 😺😺😺

[13:34] You: щ(o益oщ) next time i see you it's on sight !!!

[13:37] Tetssun: i'm so scared~

[13:37] Tetssun: anyway

[13:37] Tetssun: what time are you off work today

[13:40] You: ...

[13:40] You: why

[13:42] Tetssun: boss called and said i didn't have to come in today.

[13:43] You:...?

[13:44] Tetssun: let me take you out for a proper meal.

[13:44] Tetssun: it doesn't sit right within my conscience

that i only treated you to convenience store fried chicken

and not real people food.

[13:44] You: lucky bastard

[13:45] You: also

[13:45] You: you have a conscience??

[13:45] You: that's surprising

[13:46] You: and fried chicken is real people food.

sorry not everyone can be an old man like you

and prefer grilled fish.

[13:47] Tetssun: you know what i change my mind

[13:47] Tetssun: ┐(´ー｀)┌

[13:47] You: noooooooo ): i'm jk

[13:47] You: i'll go out with you hehe

[13:47] You: you can buy me kfc this time 😘😘😘

**Bonus: Kuroo icon from [picrew](https://picrew.me/image_maker/1889)**


	6. [update]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> author's note posted originally as chapter 4, has been moved to chapter 6 as of completion of the work.  
full story is chapters 1-4, with bonus listed under chapter 5.
> 
> sorry if there's any confusion as to the restructure of the fic. i just wanted the story to flow better w/o having to delete my a/n update

[**updated: 7/22/2020**]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's posted kind words. I won't delete this specific chapter because the comments really are so encouraging and touching. Writer burnout is something I have experience with, but I don't think it's ever affected me this way before, so I want to thank those who were patient with me as I finished a fic nearly 8 months after publishing it when I initially had planned to finish it in a week. 

Once again, thank you so much for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed the story. Please continue to support writers on AO3 and other writing host sites because a lot of us do this for free and for fun, and out of passion for a series. And we just want to share the stories we think other people would enjoy.

-snxckpxck/otherworld

**[7/16/2020] Update**:

> Uh hi. I haven’t done an author’s note as a fic update in years (and yet to do it on AO3) so sorry if this comes off weird in any way. I’ve been kind of caught up in the stress of life and burnout, and I hope everyone here is doing well and their best to stay safe. 
> 
> I kind of lost steam as soon as I started to get into the more detailed smut, and while I do have the start of the continuation for the next chapter and an idea for the wrap-up, I actually have massive writer’s block for the “juicy” stuff. 
> 
> I recently did a [Bokuto/Reader fluff fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044445) (inspired by a clip from RuPaul's Drag Race season 9) which I’m a lot more proud of namely because I’ve been watching Drag Race (season 12 just wrapped up, All Stars 5 is currently airing) and it was more of a personal, self-indulgent bit. I keep going back to that fic because I keep dancing around the more “intimate” scenes and want to retreat into a cocoon of fluff and witty banter. 
> 
> Like at this point I’m just jotting down notes for more comedic fluff/slice of life genre things instead of working on this. But it’s clearly visible by the stats that porn gets the views. Sex sells, even on AO3. 
> 
> Looking at the stats of this fic vs the 3 comments just feels kind of discouraging. Like I’ve been trying to be more proactive on my part about commenting on fics (if you’ve seen me then lmao), and I’m not trying to beg for comments or attention. I know it’s a lot to ask but I’d really appreciate any feedback or tips; like anything you’d like to see or (I’m really sorry about this) words of encouragement? 
> 
> From the pov of a writer, even though most of what I do is self-indulgent, the lack of feedback (any kind) just feels like I’m throwing my words into the void. 
> 
> I love Kuroo. I love Haikyuu. I’m emotional about the manga ending and I’ve got tons more ideas popping up because of [major Haikyuu manga spoilers]. Again, I’m very sorry that this “update” isn’t a new chapter. I promise to get this done before November 17, 2020. I will likely delete this note as soon as I upload the real chapter. If you've stuck with me this long, thank you very much. I hope you'll continue to support me. 
> 
> -snxckpxck/otherworld
> 
> PS:
> 
>   * Best wishes. Wear a mask. Stay safe, stay healthy.
>   * Don't share Haikyuu leaks or spoilers and you can support legal scans and official scans by reading Haikyuu on the MANGA Plus app by Shueisha. Haikyuu updates at 9AM on Sundays PST.

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely started this fic in September when I had this bright ass idea to make an incredibly self-indulgent fic. And in TRUE ADHD FASHION I wrote a ton, and then left it until this past week. It's still not done. So I've decided to break it up into multiple chapters (3 at most) because I want to post something before the 17th ends in my current time zone LMAO. I'll probably have the rest up by the end of the week hopefully. 
> 
> Anyway, this is INCREDIBLY self-indulgent. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little.


End file.
